U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
