Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
