you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
