My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
