may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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