yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
