did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
nutella sex= disaster
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
