you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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