i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
