I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
