I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
