I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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