this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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