I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You ruined the universe
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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