talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
