Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
