At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
