I cockslap morals
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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