I need help removing her.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
