Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
there's paper in my vomit.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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