You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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