do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
