hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
