i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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