I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
