so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
