i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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