Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
