Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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