my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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