I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
