it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
