from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
