driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
