my room smells like sperm. sweet.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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