I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
