Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
