I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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