I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Operation Purity has been aborted
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
