why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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