Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
