ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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