Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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