She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
