all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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