hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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