i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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