Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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