Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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