and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
