Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
