Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
