big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
